I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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