I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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