whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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