Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
