Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize