I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize