remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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