i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
