I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
