yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
