Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
