He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
