PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
