I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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