she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
