Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize