And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
