i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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