wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
