Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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