seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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