Do you still have your period?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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