I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
