Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
