if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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