Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
