i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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