she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
