You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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