I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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