They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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