And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
