Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
