Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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