You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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