I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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