Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
