He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
