I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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