i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
