I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize