If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
