She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
id be glad to
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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