Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
