My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize