Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
