Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
