Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize