I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Everything about him screamed your future.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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