Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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