giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
