Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
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he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
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you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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