Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
