38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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