I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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