Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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