its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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