this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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