the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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