Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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