Sponge bath it is.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
