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Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I believe in your delicious
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
