ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
