I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
