I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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