Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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