Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
