Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
